The World Keeps Spinning

There are some days where I just can't understand how almost four years have gone by since I started grad school for Russian Studies only to switch my program to dual-degree with public policy a year later. That in itself has served to delay my progress, along with one very difficult statistics class and my interest in completing both language acquisition programs during the summer and competitive internships during the school year.

Delay my progress: see, that's key to understanding how I think. Why I feel something is wrong all of the time right now. I worked really hard and fell short. Sure, there are other jobs out there, and yes, I've already started applying. But I feel so behind and a lengthy job search will just slow my ultimate progress both in a career as well as in the realm of personal development.

Here I am. 4 years later. I am about 30 lbs heavier than I was in 2006. I have a major burden of student loans to think of. I am tremendously more stressed than I have ever been, even when I worked 3 jobs my final semester in college. I have a roommate (and I'd rather be able to afford to live by myself). I don't own a washer and dryer. I don't dry clean my clothes nearly as often as I would like. I will not finish these degrees until this summer, when I will finally have time to concentrate on my thesis. I will not have my car paid off like I planned by this time. I have no job offers.

What I do have: Resources at my School that I need to take more advantage of, my great friends like paderball who made some delicious banana bread this evening, I have DK, my family, I do still have the car by some miracle, I have the willpower (or at least will have it) to exercise and work on my weight problem, I have my life ahead of me.

Sorry this is such a rambling little post. So much going through my head. I've studied for no less than 8 hours today and was in class for 3 more. That's on top of all the other things one does during the day like eat/work out. I think I'm entitled to some rambles every now and then.

I am 26. By the time my mom was 26, I was almost 7 years old and had a little baby sister. She had a husband, a dog, a home, and a job.

I'm not really interested in the husband, but a home, dog, and job would be nice. Allie D might disagree with the dog-bit. She makes me smile at least once a day. Thank God for that.